Tech Rage

Random Technology

Tech Rage

Tech rage is a serious condition that has affected us all at some point; it can ruin lives, destroy AI friendships and end up costing you dearly if you can’t tame the beast within. If you have ever been waiting for a computer to load for over an hour, sat in front of a frozen screen or had a blackberry, then you know what we’re talking about.

It can spark any point! Here are a number of well-known triggers that can set it off:

  • Loading…
  • Connection/connecting issues
  • Mysterious error messages
  • Frozen Screens
  • Fires and explosions (on very rare occasions)

[Error message: 23243028]

“Oh, I should have known it was 23243028, how silly of me!”

When windows and prompts pop up unexpectedly it can feel like computers are doing it just to antagonise you, but they’re not. It’s really just a cry for help. They just need a little direction.

[Cannot find printer.]

“What do you mean you can’t find the printer?! It’s right there!!”

It can be infuriating when trying to connect tech to tech, especially when the back of your PC has more ports than International Space Station. Or if the back of your PC looks like this.

[Loading, 1 minute left]

“Liar! You said that 2 minutes ago!”

The fact of the matter is; these things take time. If you are installing new software, uploading a file or downloading, it’s not instantaneous. Try and learn a new language in 5 minutes, and you will understand that it’s not that easy, so why not give them a break?


  • Follow the instructions. A simple Google of the error code can often resolve a fairly simple IT issue, and if there is a manual to hand, take a look. It might just be your saving grace.
  • Keep a picture in your pocket of your happy place, or an image of something that fills you with joy, like a barrel of kittens for instance. Now look at it when you feel the hot rage firing up in your core. Take a step back, breathe deeply, and call for support.
  • Although IBM is working on computers that feel emotions, they currently don’t, so shout and scream at them all you like. Don’t worry about Skynet retaliating and remember, they’re just inanimate objects.
  • Avoid physical aggression, the Fonzy jukebox fix really doesn’t work, and computers are fairly hard, (hence the name hardware) so you could just end up hurting yourself.  If you do succeed in you quest for destruction it might end up costing you dearly. Bear in mind, hardware is far more difficult and costly to repair than software.
  • We know at times it can feel like computers are conspiring against you, but they really aren’t. Believe it or not, they are here for our convenience and to help make our lives simpler. Keep abreast of our IT seminars – how IT can improve your business with @tjeffs.
  • Call Lucidica. We can offer you a variety of IT solutions and tech support. Unfortunately we can’t help repair any emotional damage a computer may have caused in some way, sorry.
  • If all else fails, Take a break and have a Kit Kat (insert clever reference to Androids new operating system here).

Slow computers can account for 5 and a half days lost a year! If you feel the rage more often than not then it may be that your computer needs updating, upgrading or in really severe circumstances, replacing. Whatever you do, don’t let you frustrations go unheard otherwise you could develop an unhealthy fear of computers or Cyberphobia, if you will.

Don’t take it out on yourself, it’s normal to get frustrated with computers at times, just remember:

“We are not machines! And if we behave like them, then WHAT IS THE *POINT* IN WINNING?”- John Connor